This week, First Lady Michelle Obama’s "Let's Move", a nationwide effort to fight childhood obesity by improving school lunches and providing parents with better nutrition information , takes on a new scourge, ”Santa Claus”.Having already put out a hit squad against ‘”Kids Meals and most recently,” Tony the Tiger”, it seems only appropriate that the First Lady go after the Iconoclastic Fat Man in Red.
“He is severely Obese, Guzzles Coca Cola and exists primarily on a diet of Cookies and Milk.” Stated The First Lady as she spoke at the first ever,
”You’re to Stupid to chooses what to eat”, Conference held in Washington D.C.
“He is no role model for our Children. They look at him and think it must be okay to be that fat. Look how happy he is! Its time we tell Santa the proper way to eat. It is time we bring Santa into the 21st Century.” Rallied Michelle as the audience roared in support.
With Surgeon General Regina Benjamin and Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack at her side Michelle held up the new, ”Food Plate” and flexed her bulging biceps driving the crowd of attendees into a frenzy.
"MyPlate is a truly simple, powerful visual cue to help people adopt healthy eating habits at meal times," said Vilsack. “Where sending one to Santa and demanding that he start eating healthy immediately!”
Michelle is working closely with Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reed to draft new legislation that will force Santa to loose 200 pounds before he makes his rounds Christmas 2011.
According to insiders working furiously on the bill some of the laws of the new legislation will include, Santa stepping down as the Spokes Person for Coca Cola and instead he will only be able to make endorsements for companies that produce 100% Natural and organic fruit Juice Boxes.
Furthermore on Christmas Eve, Children will no longer be allowed to put a plate of cookies and a glass of Milk out for Santa. Instead a glass of water and a plate of Carrots, celery and broccoli spears or some similar vegetable will be acceptable.
As an amendment to the legislation The Obama Administration has earmarked One Billion Dollars in aide as a bailout to aid poor families so they can purchase veggies for Santa.
Currently the Bill stands at 3600 pages.
Its another commi conspiracy Do you know the Russians don't even believe in Santa.
ReplyDeleteAfter getting at look at the caboose on her you wonder where the hell she gets the gall to tell anyone what to eat - Holy Hottentot Batman ! And one must consider she goes to bed every night with the biggest damn Oreo this worlds ever seen; probably all kinda loaded up with that sweet-cream filling... hands off my Santa, Queen "B" !
ReplyDeleteI love how Obama listens to his own wife. A day after a Major speech he's out stuffing Chile Cheese Dogs down his gullet.
ReplyDeleteAlways been that way - we don't pay enough attention to who's grinding the chief executives corn in the presidential bed at night as we should - hell, you know that having been married an all ! and how the hell else did he get those well-worn pistol grip ears anyway ? damn sure weren't from para-gliding off Honolulu - more likely from a lot of late night snorkeling in her "Surf 'n Turf" !!! she's running this show alright; sure as I'm guaranteed a few good farts after a "Combo #3 " dinner at Alberto's..
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